Near-Perfect Contentment

There's a Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin says "Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!" I like happiness and euphoria too (who doesn't) but perhaps what I aspire to even more is contentment.

In my final year of college, I experienced a moment of near-perfect contentment.

I was standing on the balcony of our hostel (dorm), looking out. I had a job offer (frankly, a very desirable job offer – although I quit a few years later, but that's a different story), I felt part of a community (my college friends who I hung out with almost every day), and my days were full and fun. At the same time, I was aware that this period of my life was about to end, and the community that I loved so much would soon disperse. But perhaps this sense of transience – mono no aware – is also a necessary part of near-perfect contentment.

Anyhow, I resolved to try and remember that moment. Since then, I have had three or four such moments – I mean, moments when I experience near-perfect contentment, and consciously try to remember it.

One such moment was when I was living and working in Tokyo. It was a weekend or a public holiday. I was having breakfast (I had a serviced apartment with a complimentary breakfast buffet – that was the life), reading a very good book (Underground by Murakami), and looking forward to a day of exploring Tokyo.

Another was more recently, in Singapore. I was in a mall – Lucky Plaza, which is one of the older malls (I have a soft spot for older malls, and Lucky Plaza is a cute name) – and I was waiting for two friends whom I was meeting for lunch. From where I stood, I was overlooking Orchard Road, a prime spot for people-watching. I had headphones on – I even remember the song I was listening to: Tantra Practice by Emily Lind (it has the line "Twenty bucks for lucky weed," which now always reminds me of Lucky Plaza). I was looking forward to the lunch – Filipino food, and the friends I was meeting are two of my favourite people in the world – and also to a contemporary dance performance which I was going for afterwards. I enjoyed the dance show too.

In my last post I was reflecting on final thoughts: "whether I'll want to be fully present in the moment, or perhaps, drift off as I relive a happy memory." I still don't know the answer, but if I were to relive a happy memory, one of these near-perfect contentment moments would be a good option. However, I think I have an even better candidate.

Since I graduated from college, I have mostly lived in other countries. When I go back home to Kolkata, I often have afternoon tea with my parents – milky tea with biscuits (Britannia Marie Gold or cream crackers). I haven't consciously "recorded" a moment of near-perfect contentment during teatime with my parents – they kind of blur into one – but in the moment, I feel happy, grounded and loved. Winter-afternoon light filtering through the windows, my mum telling us about some bird she saw that morning, and biscuits dipped in chai.