NPL

All throughout our internships we were pining to get back to college. Then college started, and not even a week had passed before we were all complaining of boredom. It was on a particularly idle afternoon, when we were discussing ways to liven things up, that the idea of the NPL was born. I reproduce below the Sports Committee notice that started it all.

The NUJS Premier League An intra-college zonal T12 cricket tournament This notice is to provide you with our official answers to the frequently asked questions on NPL. It’s the shorter version of the game, so we’ve kept the answers short. Q1: So what is the NPL all about? A: Controversy. A gripping auction of players. Scandal. A spicy weekly newsletter detailing events, real and fictitious. A lot of fun. Q2: What? No cricket? A: Oh, yeah. There will also be some cricket. But we shall endeavour to preserve IPL tradition and ensure that the cricket is all but forgotten in the glare of the attendant hype and controversy. Q3: What’s the format like? A: Twelve overs. Five teams on a zonal basis. Each team shall have five players from its respective zone, and eight players picked through auction. Detailed rules will be issued by the SportsCom tonight. Watch this space. Q4: Is any money involved? A: No real currency is involved in the auction process. Teams will have to pay a nominal entry fee which shall be utilised towards field booking and prize money. Q5: Cheerleaders? A: Honest answer: Alas, no. *wistful sigh* Official answer: Most certainly not. We in the SportsCom are strongly opposed to the vulgar objectification of women. Q6: Won’t the NPL promote divisiveness? A: The SportsCom emphatically condemns any form of regional divisiveness. We urge players to participate in a spirit of sportsmanship and maturity, purely for the love of the game. For further information, contact Bunty, Davis, Kisku, Sarbajeet or Sroyon.

Now the only necessary expenditure for a team is the entry fee of Rs. 2,500. As of today, three days before the tournament begins, the West Zone team has raised Rs. 20,000. The money comes almost entirely from students wanting to be identified as owners of the team. Other teams are not far behind.

The maximum prize money that a team stands to win is Rs. 4,000. Furthermore, the teams each have more than ten ‘owners’, and the proceeds (if any) will be split among all the stakeholders. So the investment far exceeds the expected returns and makes no economic sense whatsoever. People evidently have more cash than they know what to do with.

As one of the originators of the NPL idea, I suppose I should be happy at these developments. In fact, I should probably be looking like this:

Excess cash is never bad for any enterprise. But this wanton squandering seems to have something obscene about it. Wasting money seems almost like an impiety, like throwing away bread. Also, the big money has turned the NPL into something I can no longer identify with. It has taken on a life of its own. You can almost see the dollar signs in its eyes. It is unrecognisable from a trifling diversion dreamed up by five friends on a lazy summer afternoon.