When friends who don't speak Bengali hear me talk, e.g. on the phone with my parents, they often remark that I sound more animated and expressive compared to how I talk in English. (I also think I'm more likeable when I speak Bengali, though it's hard to test this theory.)
Last night my friend Muzi and I were saying random sentences, first in English and then in our respective mother tongue (Bengali for me and Mandarin for her, even though we don't understand each other). Muzi sounds more lively and eloquent in Mandarin too, and it's especially evident when she says the same thing in English immediately followed by Mandarin – it's like her whole personality comes out. It makes me sad to think that unless we learn each other's languages, which is very unlikely, we have to resign ourselves to a lifetime of second-best communication, lacking some of the warmth, wit and nuance that we can express in our native language.
Sometimes with a concept that's particularly hard to translate, Muzi will just use the Chinese term without translation, trusting that I will get her meaning from contextual or other cues. One such example is yuanfen (缘分) which means a predestined relationship, fate or chance that brings people together. Wikipedia says:
although yuanfen is often used in the context of lovers' relationships, the concept itself is much broader and can refer to any relationship between people under any circumstance.
In fact, it's even broader than that. The context in which Muzi used it – my first encounter with the term – was, "I don't have a good yuanfen with the 145 bus."
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