Saturday, August 22, 2009

A Wasted Opportunity

I went to Sugandhco yesterday to buy perfume for my mother, and as gifts for the family with whom I’ll be staying in Hyderabad. Sugandhco is a 150-year old family business that specialises in attar – essence distilled from flowers by a traditional method.

It is a mind-boggling little shop, with rows and rows of glass bottles sitting daintily on glass shelves, winking golden in the light. The men behind the counter look as if they Know Their Stuff – the sort who can sniff an essence and tell you not only what flowers went into it, but also at what time of the day they were plucked, and probably even what the girl was wearing when she plucked them.

While absentmindedly picking perfumes, I suddenly had an overpowering urge to unleash a fart – a real stinker – just to see how the good people of Sugandhco would react. It was a small, enclosed space, and with their refined olfactory sensibilities, I was prepared to bet that at least one of them would faint. But alas, no fart was forthcoming, and I have not been blessed with the ability to fart at will, as some of my relatives can.

Kisku can crack open an egg, pour the contents into his mouth, and spit it out with the yolk still intact. Rik can do an exact rendition of the Chewbacca grunt. Even my kid brother, who is otherwise useless, can burp the entire alphabet. Sometimes it seems to me that I have no skills which are truly worth possessing.

11 comments:

Pratiti said...

Ufff. Which of your relatives can fart at will, btw? Phikku?
My classmate can.

ಕವನ said...

Maybe they'll tell what you ate by smelling the fart. Where is Sugandhco anyway?

Rahul Saha said...

Hehe. This reminds me of the little stamp shop that we went to.

Rick said...

This blog would have achieved multitudinous proportions had you succeeded in your endeavour, and the methane had managed to create some degree of excitement.

And Which classmate are you talking about, Prat? I wasn't aware that we had such an er, talent among us.

Pratiti said...

Why, Shubhyau, of course. Kichhu janish na.

Doubletake, Doublethink. said...

Hehe.

I never bought perfume at Lucknow, I don't know why. Must have been all the food. But where is Sugandhco?

Abhiroop said...

Lemme see what else can people do...

I can do an excellent imitation of a fox (Hukka Hua!!) and move my ears more limbly than a dog.

Arjun... well O Arjun of timeless Tarzans and Burpinator..

On burps, we can scarcely forget the Anuj Agrawal and the Ankit Guha...

Aastha of course has a double chin; Manjula has her South Indian shot...

Not bad at all. But farts??? I guess none else but the Turdinator!

Sroyon said...

@Pratiti: To avoid compromising their dignity, I will refrain from answering your question on a public forum.

@ಕವನ & Doubletake: Janpath Market, in Hazratganj. But they also have outlets in other parts of the city. I saw one in Aminabad.

@Lahiri: You forgot about the lizard sound! And Aastha can do that trick with her fingers too.

Shrabasti Banerjee said...

*Snigger*. Oh, I have a question. How exactly are you managing to churn out posts on a daily basis when you're supposed to be constantly on the move? :D

Arjun said...

You can hit the football with the balls of your feet.... which sacky is jealous of.... so you can be happy about that....

Anonymous said...

you appear to be a crazy person to be farting and all...

Sugandh Co. to me is a Temple of Fragrances.. atleat they have the guts to keep the old tradition of Indian Itra alive!!

Rajdeep Mani,
Kerala